I used to frequently get stuck when I was learning EFT couple therapy.
I knew there was some next step, other intervention, or way to manage the mayhem when it got going but for the life of me I didn’t know what it was or what to do. Thank goodness for the EFT Training note (in the Becoming an EFT Therapist workbook) that I kept right with me on my lap and frequently looked at.
Most of the time that helped me figure out what to do. Sometimes though, I still got stuck. I didn’t want to go back to doing what I had done before just because I didn’t know what do to. I wanted to learn. I wanted to do something different. I wanted to be an EFT therapist and stay in the model and help couples get better and LOVE being together again.
Finally I figured out I could say something to the couple to buy me a little more time to figure out what an EFT therapist would do next. And funny thing, being transparent with the couple was a very EFT thing to do, but that took me a long while to realize. When I figured out I could say something, I then how to figure out what I could say. I practiced phrases like “I’m sorry, I’m a bit lost, can I take a moment.” “Would it be okay if we stopped for a second, I want to think about where to go next.”
Here are four great options for you when you get stuck and don’t know what to do next in the therapy room. In no particular order.
1) Go back to where you weren’t stuck. “J. a few minutes ago you were saying ____, can we go back there?”
2) Be transparent and ask for a moment. “I’m feeling a bit unsure about the best direction to take right now, I need just a moment to think. Is that okay?”
3) Reflect. Even if you can’t reflect meaning or the present process you can repeat what the client just said. This will give you some time to figure out what where to go next.
4) Go back to the cycle. “Let’s review the cycle you get caught in. I think it may be happening now.” That can bring you back to the present process.What do you do when you don’t know what to do next?
Perhaps you have some other way to get back on track when you get lost. If you do, I’d love to hear it. If you don’t, give one of these a try and let me know how it goes.
Yes – do leave a comment below.